I really cannot believe what I saw this afternoon. Liverpool played Fulham off the park yet lost 3-1. Benitez took off his two best players and the referee robbed him of two of his team towards the end of the game. Neither of the players should have been sent off. The referee has, yet again, spoilt a Premier League game. Pathetic. What the heck were the other officials doing? Who punishes a really bad referee? How is he punished? Are they punished? Anyway, I reckon the league title will be between Chelsea and Arsenal.
As it’s Hallowe’en here come the jokes………
Bat Story
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in
fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to
get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began
hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it
off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted in
hassling him to no end until finally he gave in.
“OK!” he said with exasperation. “Follow me,” and he flew
out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind
him.
Down through the valley they went, across the river, and
into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down, and all the
other bats excitedly gathered around him.
“Do you see that tree over there?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“Good,” said the first bat, “because I DIDN’T!”
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Halloween Humour
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
- Frostbite.
Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
- Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
- With scare spray.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
- No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
- Because they don’t have any body to go out with.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
- Casketball.
What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
- Shrinkenstein.
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn
flakes?
- A cereal killer.
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
- Dead ends.
What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
- Bloodhounds.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
- A stake sandwich.
What is a skeleton’s favourite musical instrument?
- A trombone.
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
- Tweets.
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
- They have bat breath.
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
- He heard it had great circulation.
Why don’t mummies go on vacation?
- They are afraid that they might relax and unwind.
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Best Marksman
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a
small town. Everywhere he saw evidence of the most amazing
shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were
numerous bull’s-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.
The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the
person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man
turned out to be the village idiot.
“This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the
FBI man. “How in the world do you do it?”
“Nothing to it,” said the idiot. “I shoot first and draw the
circles afterward.”
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Word of the Day
La valla vah’-yah (noun)
fence; hurdle; goal
EXAMPLES
Los progenitores quieren un patio de recreo rodeado por una valla. – The parents want a fence around this playground.
Juan compite en los 110 metros vallas. – John competes in the 110 meter hurdles.
For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for La valla.
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Alhambra Palace in Granada
The Alhambra is Spain’s most visited tourist attraction with over
two million annual visitors. The city of Granada is also fabulous
so time permitting don’t be in too much of a rush to leave the
place. A pleasant surprise to many is that tapas are free with
drinks in the city’s bars. No wonder a third of the city’s
population is made up of students!
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